Story of the senile memory

I am writing this post because I forgot what I was supposed to be writing originally. But that act of forgetting made me realise and wonder if memory loss is a side effect of my medication or if it is a symptom of my illness.

I had a fairly good memory as a child, I could remember lines of poetry, multiplication tables and story plots with remarkable accuracy. But as I grew up, all of it plummeted and eventually turned senile. I graduated a couple of days ago, and I don’t remember a word of what I’d studied. Whether it is what Foucault had to say or whether it was a piece of text from Manufacturing Consent, it’s all gone.

I also have this weird problem where I can’t distinguish between my dreams and reality. For example, I dream that I have received a text and that I replied to it; while in reality, the text remains unopened in my inbox, waiting to be addressed. It’s a small and slightly petulant example, but use the same factor to compound the magnitude of its effects.

How do you guys deal with a bleak memory? I’ve tried to counter this by buying a fancy planner, using tons of sticky notes, keeping reminders on my phone and even consuming Omega 3 (Because I read somewhere or heard from someone that it boosts memory, or am I imagining it?) But none of them help. And the worst part is, people never take you seriously when you tell them you have a weak memory.

I am told, “You’re so lucky! You don’t have to remember the bad parts.” But I don’t remember the good parts either! And you know what? That sucks. That sucks colossaly. I have literally talked to the girl who bitched about me a week after we broke into a fight, because I don’t remember it anymore. And that is plain embarassing.

I did Google at some point to see if this is a consequence of my medication and I don’t seem to remember the answer. I could Google again, but then… fuck it.